Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
