went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
