mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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