just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
