What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize