omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize