HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i jhust puked up my retainher.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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