i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
