he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
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I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
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I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I deserve this hangover.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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