I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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