Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
