I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
