Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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