Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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