you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize