I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I need water and some morals
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
