I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize