After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
