I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing