dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
