Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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