Pants 0. Shit 1.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
