party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
