so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
