How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
