My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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