high people should be assigned attendants
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
