My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
