I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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