We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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