I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
