Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I want her autograph on my taint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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