I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
