I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
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After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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