he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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