My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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