my vag is so smooth its legendary
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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