she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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