He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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