thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
