I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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