It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
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This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
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She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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