i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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