wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
