I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
