you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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