all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
They took my balls.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
