this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
