Where is the hickey?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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