I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
