I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
