Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
