We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize