My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
