I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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