he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
